WTF was this opening to Countdown today about?! pic.twitter.com/zygT3WFOMG
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) February 27, 2020
Countdown’s Nick Hewer opened Thursdays show with a bizarre story about how he once injured himself by pretending to be in a wheelchair.
He opened the show talking about minor injuries and a thread he had seen online, before regaling (a rather confused) Rachel Riley with his own tale.
After telling her about a man who sprained his wrist after he started flailing wildly after walking into a spiders web and another who burned himself while trying to iron the shirt he was still wearing, Nick elaborated on his own unfortunate injury.
Nick told Rachel: ‘I had a bad incident, which sort of led to a series of very unfortunate things. I had at the time – a long time ago – a girlfriend who was quite a lot younger than me, actually.
‘And she was getting a bit keen, and I said “now look, you should really be going out with somebody your own age.”’
Now this is where the story takes a rather unexpected turn, as Nick continued: ‘We happened to be in an elevator at the time and I explained to her what I would look like if I were in a wheelchair and she was pushing me in a wheelchair.
‘So I crouched down to show her the sort of height differential, at which point I am resting my hands on the floor to bear my weight, when the lift stopped and it bent that finger right back.
‘It was so painful, it was a very painful minor injury. So I went to see the doctor and said I’ve really hurt this, and he said “ooh you have”.
‘And with that he produced the longest needle syringe you’ve ever seen. I said “what are you going to do with that?!” And he said “it’s going to grate a bit”, and he plunged it into my knuckle.’
He added: ‘It was so sore, never do that again.’
Rachel quipped: ‘So never go out with a younger woman, pretend you’re in a wheelchair, lie on the ground in the lift and then go to the doctor?’
Nick confirmed: ‘I am never larking around in a lift.’
We have no words.
Countdown is on weekdays from 2.10pm on Channel 4.
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